Losing 24-0 to the St. Louis Rams – the team on the receiving end of the Washington Redskins’ blockbuster trade bust for Robert Griffin III – the ‘Skins face tough decisions in the offseason.
In the interest of helping my fellow Washingtonians, I have opened this space to serve as a crowdsourced employment service for Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III.
Robert Griffin III, for those of you who do not know, is a very good man, of the highest character and eloquence, who happens to be not a very good quarterback in the National Football League – a description which undoubtedly applies to many of us, so let us not be quick to judge.
The population of Washington DC – which includes every member of the Washington Redskins football team along with their spouses, children, coaches, former players and ghosts of the deceased – has recently brought it to my attention that they would prefer Robert Griffin III obtain new employment which would make better use of his impressive skills and personality. In that same conversation, the population of Washington DC informed me they have no real preference as to location of this employment, as long as it is on any part of the planet Earth not currently occupied by the Washington Redskins football team. Which leaves plenty of real estate.
Already, the following opportunities have been submitted and prescreened:
Part-time job opening for the position of Choir Director at West Hills Presbyterian Church, Knoxville, TN. Committed Christian men with training and experience directing adult church choirs may contact D.J. Cimino at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.