Whitbeck Announces For RPV Chair; Mum On Airplane Policy

John Whitbeck paper airplane
Whitbeck’s airplane experience open to question; policies untested.

John Whitbeck, chair of the Republican 10th District Congressional Committee (Virginia), has announced he will seek the chairmanship of the Republican Party of Virginia (RPV), a position which would require Whitbeck to take a firm stand on throwing of paper airplanes during RPV events. Sadly, Whitbeck’s announcement states no such position, which bodes poorly for future RPV convention attendees bored out of their skulls with piles of paper on their chairs.

During the 2013 convention in Richmond, current chair Pat Mullins famously took to the podium during one of the many interminable waiting periods between ballots, and forcefully chastised Virginia Republicans for throwing paper airplanes to pass the hours, noting that a “$50,000 screen” behind the stage was at risk of being punctured by the surprisingly effective airborne devices. By that point in the convention, the so-called paper airplanes had evolved to a drone-like level of lethality which had Eric Cantor’s bodyguards forming a Roman-style shield wall with their jackets over the former congressman.

Mullins is believed to have begun planning his RPV exit that day in Richmond, when it became obvious he was out of step with the rank and file.

Thus far, Whitbeck’s only announced challenger for the chairmanship is Eric Herr, a former colonel in the Air Force, whose position on the airplane issue is said to be sophisticated and progressive, based on years’ of experience in the field.