In the interest of helping my fellow Washingtonians, I have opened this space to serve as a crowdsourced employment service for Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III.
Robert Griffin III, for those of you who do not know, is a very good man, of the highest character and eloquence, who happens to be not a very good quarterback in the National Football League – a description which undoubtedly applies to many of us, so let us not be quick to judge.
The population of Washington DC – which includes every member of the Washington Redskins football team along with their spouses, children, coaches, former players and ghosts of the deceased – has recently brought it to my attention that they would prefer Robert Griffin III obtain new employment which would make better use of his impressive skills and personality. In that same conversation, the population of Washington DC informed me they have no real preference as to location of this employment, as long as it is on any part of the planet Earth not currently occupied by the Washington Redskins football team. Which leaves plenty of real estate.
Already, the following opportunities have been submitted and prescreened:
Part-time job opening for the position of Choir Director at West Hills Presbyterian Church, Knoxville, TN. Committed Christian men with training and experience directing adult church choirs may contact D.J. Cimino at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
KidWorks is seeking an Executive Director to lead and develop a dynamic team of dedicated staff and volunteer leaders. We are looking for an energetic, forward-thinking leader who will lead the continued growth of KidWorks while maintaining and expanding the best practices focus to the organization.
Associate Director of Marketing and Development
This job demands a highly organized individual who is expert at multi-tasking and able to work well in a dynamic, demanding environment.
Physical Education/Health Teacher (K-8)
Promote social, emotional, and intellectual growth and development, and incorporate the student’s Oneida heritage. Encourage health and physical activity.
I will keep this service in operation until Robert Griffin III has a new job. Please submit opportunities in the comments or use the contact form on this Web site. On behalf of the population of Washington DC, I thank you.